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Jul. 2nd, 2006 08:22 pm... So.
I think that it's pretty interesting. Life, I mean. Sometimes, it's just... so strange to figure out.
Up until a certain point in my life, I've never had any problems saying good-bye to anything. I could move from towns, change my class and leave friends homes perfectly on time. I never dallied, simply put things behind me and let that be that. Until I became 13 years, and ended up at a special educations classroom. In all honesty, I was most likely the one who needed it less. All the other boys there had had special arrengements from the age of ten I reckon. I most likely could have gone through with a 'normal' class and not suffered in the least. BUt I chose to change to this class, and I have NEVER regretted it. I found some of my best friends there. People that I simply clikced iwht in ways I had rarely done in previous classes. So when the time came to say goodbye to that class, and move on in life... I felt strange. I felt like I really was losing something. It wasn't pleasant.
Fastforward to today, and here I sit... finished with upper secondary school, our equivalent to college I guess. Once again I leave something behind me. But this time, I feel relieved. As I look back on these days gone by, I can see one trend, and that was that I was steadily growing more and more miserable. As it all dragged on I felt how everything became a dreary threadmill where nothing ever really changed, where life just became a dull, grey mass of uniform days and exams. And now, that is over. I'm supposed to find a job now. Now, I'm supposed to be an adult.
It feels good. It really does. It feels different, like a start of something or other. Don't know of what, but it's a change, something new. When I finished school, I used to think I'd always be afraid of the new. That leaving something would feel just as unpleasant as leaving school, and that I would never be able to just look forward to things, always living in the past. But it has not. There is nothing ahead of me now. No goal. No needs, except not being lazy. Nothing's beeing spoon-fed to me, but nothing's being forced upon me. My decision what happens next. I think they call it "life". I think I'm going to enjoy it.
That said, I'll try to be more social. Both in RL and on the Internet. Chat with people more often. Stop locking myself in my room and zone out after bashing my brain against never-ending studies. Try to have fun. No saying how it'll go, but. One can always try. One always does.
So, how YOU doin'?
I think that it's pretty interesting. Life, I mean. Sometimes, it's just... so strange to figure out.
Up until a certain point in my life, I've never had any problems saying good-bye to anything. I could move from towns, change my class and leave friends homes perfectly on time. I never dallied, simply put things behind me and let that be that. Until I became 13 years, and ended up at a special educations classroom. In all honesty, I was most likely the one who needed it less. All the other boys there had had special arrengements from the age of ten I reckon. I most likely could have gone through with a 'normal' class and not suffered in the least. BUt I chose to change to this class, and I have NEVER regretted it. I found some of my best friends there. People that I simply clikced iwht in ways I had rarely done in previous classes. So when the time came to say goodbye to that class, and move on in life... I felt strange. I felt like I really was losing something. It wasn't pleasant.
Fastforward to today, and here I sit... finished with upper secondary school, our equivalent to college I guess. Once again I leave something behind me. But this time, I feel relieved. As I look back on these days gone by, I can see one trend, and that was that I was steadily growing more and more miserable. As it all dragged on I felt how everything became a dreary threadmill where nothing ever really changed, where life just became a dull, grey mass of uniform days and exams. And now, that is over. I'm supposed to find a job now. Now, I'm supposed to be an adult.
It feels good. It really does. It feels different, like a start of something or other. Don't know of what, but it's a change, something new. When I finished school, I used to think I'd always be afraid of the new. That leaving something would feel just as unpleasant as leaving school, and that I would never be able to just look forward to things, always living in the past. But it has not. There is nothing ahead of me now. No goal. No needs, except not being lazy. Nothing's beeing spoon-fed to me, but nothing's being forced upon me. My decision what happens next. I think they call it "life". I think I'm going to enjoy it.
That said, I'll try to be more social. Both in RL and on the Internet. Chat with people more often. Stop locking myself in my room and zone out after bashing my brain against never-ending studies. Try to have fun. No saying how it'll go, but. One can always try. One always does.
So, how YOU doin'?
